Now although there may be some of you out there who simply read what I write due to your dedication to Lems or because you actually find me entertaining, most of the traffic is largely in part to my friends and family who I spam the shit out of until they eventually give in and read whatever I had to say.
The sweet thing about blogging is usually there is a disconnect between the blogger and his/her audience. I could tell Kanye West to kiss my ass without any hesitation because A.) He’ll never see it and B.) Off chance he does, there is no way I will be confronted about it.
So when your audience also happens to be people you see every day, this disconnect disappears and you are often told to your face how much you suck.
So last Friday when I selflessly took the time to take pictures and explain to the Lems following how to appropriately measure your foot, the last thing on my mind was the fact that I was not a foot model.
If I do say so myself, the post was great. One of my best. I threw in some humor referencing pop culture and celebrities while giving step by step instructions to surpass our confusing as hell sizing charts. After I hit the “Save and Publish” button, I smiled to myself while “It’s a Wonderful World” played in the background and a little bird landed on my shoulder.
I left work with a skip in my step and a whistle on my lips feeling good about myself, knowing I helped the hundreds of people out there who call in asking about our sizing….I pull into my driveway and immediately I am greeted by my roommates (ahem, my parents) who happened to read the post from earlier that afternoon.
Instead of “Hello, how was your day” from my mother, she approached me with “Brad, you could have used someone else’s feet. Goodness, you should probably shave those things.”
I shrug it off yet not 5 minutes later my sister walks out of her room and says, “Hey Frodo, how’s Gandalf?” This little smug reference pissed me off and after we exchanged insults back and forth for awhile, I went back to the blog to analyze the pictures I posted.
The conclusion I came to is this, yes I have small, hairy feet but as my sister pointed out, so did Frodo. And you know what that Mother F’er did? He traveled all the way to Mordor and tossed that Son of a Bitch ring into the fire saving Middle Earth from total damnation!
So next time all of you average foot guys are checking out the sales rack at your local shoe store and get depressed because all they have are size 8’s left, you remember us small foot guys, as we drive home laughing with bags full of the latest styles at discount prices!