The Official Lems Shoes Guide to Getting the Right Frickin' Size!!
There are lots of people out there who are interested in Lems but as soon as they get to our sizing chart, they back out faster than Dustin Diamond in a Celebrity Boxing Match.
I imagine the thought process of a potential customer to go something like this…
Miley Cyrus sitting at her computer trying to think of a clever Tweet about her tongue:
“Man, it’s hard to twerk and browse the Internet at once…good thing I’m not chewing a piece of gum also.”
She happens to glance at the ads to the right and sees something for Lems Shoes….
“So I put my hands up, playing my.....what the hell is a Lems?, What a weird ass logo, kinda looks like a tongue..”
Click. Wait. Click. Wait.
With tongue out, “Oh man, those shoes look pretty cool. Never seen anything like those before. Comfortable and I can roll them up into a ball, I bet I could twerk really well in these things!!
Click..wait...click....Checks herself out in the mirror while taking a nude selfie…
“Price is a little steep for tennis shoes but I guess they are designed for maximum comfort and use some cool technological rubber. What the hell, daddy's, Achey Breaky Heart is still collecting royalties out the ass…Let’s do it!!”
Click...wait..click...30th text to the fake number Madonna gave her....
“Ughhhh what is this weird sizing thing..F this. I’ll just keep twerking in my stilettos”.
Yeah we get it Miley. Sizing is confusing. And although you may not be the brightest bulb, we feel those with a little more, ok a lot more, intelligence may have trouble as well. So I thought, since it’s Friday and I have nothing better to do than watch Rihanna and Shakira dance all over each other, I would help all of the Lems Customers out there who have had millions of questions about our sizing and maybe limit the amount of angry E-mails Steve gets.
So without further ado, I give you the Step by Step guide to Lems Shoes Sizing...
1 pencil or pen or marker or piece of chalk or bloody finger
1 Foot (your own foot)
Place your foot in the middle of the paper and using your writing utencil trace the outside of your foot.
After you are done tracing, take the ruler from the outermost part of your heel, all the way to the top of your longest toe. Find the length, in inches or centimeters, like so.
Decide what shoe you are looking to order and refer to our highly confusing sizing chart. (Sure we claim easy returns but we never said easy orders……..Shitty joke I know)
Determine the next size up in inches or centimeters from what your foot measured. Match the inches with the European Shoe Size, and you should be good to go!!
For example, my foot measured 9.25" so if I was ordering a Primal 2, the next measurement up would be 9 1/3 " which is equivalent to a Men's 40....Make Sense???
*Note: Please disregard the Hairy Hobbit Foot model used in all of these images.
Hope this helped and if not, well then call Steve and bother him.
As always, Live Easy and Minimal….