10 Things I Bet You Didn’t know about Lems Shoes
1.) Contrary to popular belief, we don’t sell Lems from behind our desks made of rich mahogany while staring at a beautiful collection of leather bound books.
Actually, we work off of tables our mothers have generously donated (Hi mom!!), which have been used at multiple family cookouts and still smell of onions and grease
Meanwhile my half-dead computer has a penny wedged between the display and the keyboard so I can ensure what I'm writing is coherent and makes partial sense.
*Note: If ever anything you read from this blog is neither coherent nor sensible, just assume the penny loosened and I continued typing because the day was coming to an end.
2.) We share our office with a Steel Factory.
Nothin’ like dodging a few steel beams to make your way into work. See kids, maybe, just maybe, a company with less class than that of yours truly would lie about this fact to hype up the American, family-owned facet we pride ourselves on. But not Lems, no sir, next time your on the phone with one of us and a deafening sound of falling steel engulfs the phone line, just remember these words and pray that we are still on the other end and not under a pile of metal.
3.) Introducing the unofficial Lems' Mascot: Zooey.
We all get bent out about work from time to time, but being able to cuddle with this cutie instead of squeezing a stress ball is pretty much the bee’s knees. I mean look at that face, who wouldn’t want her around?? (5 to 1 odds you just said “Awwww” sitting at your computer desk alone)
4.) Heat can sometimes be a problem.
5.) Customers who share names with celebrities get put on our Wall of Fame.
6.) We like to pose as models for our photo shoots.
7.) The Lems’ Mobile turns heads in small town, Pennsylvania.
8.) We have to walk through a closet to get to our office.
Yeah, that’s right, after we finish our coffee, cruise the Hermitage strip in our advertisement-laced vehicles, and dodge some steel workers; we have to blindly navigate through a filing closet to arrive in the Lems' office. (Impressed yet Ladies??)
9.) The Lems' logo is a prehistoric symbol that represents good luck.
10.) (Insert random "Us against the world” quote)
Now I am not a betting man (except that one time in Tijuana when I was labeled the Gringo chicken and was left with four fingers on my right hand), but I BET there are many of you out there who think there are a lot of us in our Steel Factory Closet. Well, my friends, there are only 3 of us over here, accommodating your minimalist shoe needs. And while selling shoes is our #1 priority, keeping you highly entertained, when you should be working on those TPS reports your boss keeps asking you about come in a close second. So sit back, relax, and see what those guys working out of the closet have to say.